He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
