yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
