some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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