Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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