no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she smelled like a LAN party
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
