This girl is more easily done than said...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
