i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
