I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
