Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
