Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
