I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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