She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize