So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
