honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
