can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
