I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
