put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
