somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
