you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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