good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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