so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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