Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize