3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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