Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
