if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
