just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize