none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize