i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
