There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
