hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize