I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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