Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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