if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize