Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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