I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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