Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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