so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
