so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
