I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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