get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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