Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
