I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
