put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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