It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
