We won't sleep together?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
