it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
