She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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