I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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