I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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