Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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