oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
