I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize