I just saw a hot homeless man
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize