C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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