This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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