Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
