omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
